The Time I Wrote Three Different Titles for One Blog

And three different blogs to accompany those three titles. Rather than start and stop and start and stop and start and publish like normal, I just started and erased and started and erased and started and (hopefully) published. Published. Ha! As if someone really proofreads what I write and make public to the internet and its readers. What does it mean to be published online anymore? Can I call this being published? I think not.

But perhaps I'm wrong. I frequently am. Except when arguing. #alwaysright

Confession:

That Justin Timberlake/Jimmy Fallon video that everyone was plastering all over Facebook about speaking in hashtags being absolutely ridiculous...I didn't find it ridiculous. Possibly because I do talk in hashtags. So much so, actually, that last fall I was banned from saying "hashtag" in the house. I had to say "mashed potato" instead.

For example (Hermione voices, people):

"Oh my god. That ice cream was so delicious. Hashtag I'm getting fat" #imgettingfat
now turns into
"Oh my god. That ice cream was so delicious. Mashed potato I'm getting fat" (potatoes that are mashed)imgettingfat

Or in the morning when heating up some bread
"Mashed potato hungry. Mashed potato making toast. Mashed potato where's the butter?"

Thankfully that ship has sailed and my oral hashtagging has calmed significantly. Do you hashtag in real life? Is this a normal thing to do?


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Leaving for Disney in 8 days! Huzzah!!! Heading out once Joe gets out of class around 6pm. DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE. Playing in the parks for a few days AND THEN OFF TO MY NEW WORK LOCATION. I'm excited. Nervous. Thrilled. Sick to my stomach. I'm actually super pumped about working at the Grand Floridian, but the fact that my work location, yet again, has a 40% deal to cast members kind of makes me nervous. Is it really that unpopular that they have to drag people in with a 40% price tag? Maybe I should check it out if it's 40% off at dinner... Cannot wait for food sampling during orientations!!! #imgettingfat (potatoes that are mashed)imgettingfat

Pump some pumpkin spice latte into my blood stream because

IT'S OCTOBER, WOODCHUCK CHUCKERS!

[bleep] yes!

That one was for you, Cora.

A Better Way of Thinking

This morning before work, I read an article about things every fat girl should know. While I found it to be extremely self-confidence boosting and really a great read all around, I was left with one lingering thought: The idea that you should love someone because of something, rather than in spite of something. The article itself was talking about not settling for someone who likes/loves you in spite of your extra body weight, but rather because of your extra body weight. (i.e. I love you in spite of your fat body, vs. I love you because you are curvy/thick.) It was such a mind-opening concept and I genuinely believe it to hold true in most circumstances, but while I was at work, I thought of a few events in which I would hope it to not be true:

1. I love you because of your terrible body odor.
2. I love avocados because of the horrible texture and color reminiscent of baby poop.
3. I love dogs because of the excessive amount of saliva they produce.
4. I love flying because of the long lines to go through security.
5. I love Indiana because of the fact that I cannot legally purchase alcohol on Sundays.
6. I love dancing because of the way it makes me look like a cow having a seizure.

I could make it a ten item list, but I think you get it by now.

If you're interested in reading the article, you can find it here. No, but really, you should probably read it. Especially if you have less than perfect self-confidence. Or you have zero self-confidence. It's pretty fantastic.

I'm feeling like a superhero today. Oh yeah. #beautycannotbecontained #notevenbyglassesandlackofmakeup