Happenings

So much for writing here everyday. I've only written once during October! Methinks I'm slacking. I suppose now would be a good time for some updates (much has happened during this most wonderful month of October.) Let us begin!

In the realm of Disney, after much nagging and pestering to find out what exactly happened to my application (ultimately yielding an answer of "it got lost in limbo") I heard back on the 25th. I was offered a role in Full Service Food and Beverage, which is actually much better than it sounds AND not really related to food at all. Winning! I accepted the offer, paid the fees on the 26th, and picked an arrival date of January 25th (leaving, potentially, on June 1st.) Excellent, no?

No. Friday, the 28th, I was in a car accident, which I caused. There was a bug in my car, which flew at me and I tried to get it out and when I looked back at the road, it was too late and even though I slammed on the brakes, I still crashed into another car, who in turn ran into another car. Thank God nobody was hurt. Unfortunately, if the repairs are too high, I will not be able to go to Disney for another College Program.

This is where I sit. Not ideal, but it could be worse. Much, much worse.

Always the Bro, never the Ho

One should never aspire to be labeled a ho. I know this. Yet, we (the female population) find ourselves wanting this all the time. "I don't want to just be his friend! I want to get in bed with him!"

I regularly find that with the guys I enjoy most, the guys who I am most attracted to, will never view me as anything but their bro. I have made them too close, too used to who I am. I am, in their eyes, equal with their bros. Which is awesome on the surface, and probably means that I've made friends for life, but every so often, I want to be more than just a bro. Sometimes, you just want to be a ho.

I suppose, in this way, I just really want to rant. When am I ever NOT ranting on this blog? Rarely. Sigh. I just thought that in becoming friends with you, I could allow you to see how awesome and lovable I am. You did, and yay for that! But you also saw me as a source for advice. Advice when dealing with girls. Girls who are not me. I'll offer advice, and good advice too, because I'm your bro. But I will hope and pray that this girl is not sane and will be totally turned off by the advice I give you, because I really don't want it to work with you two. I just want her to crush you. Come running back to me. I'll get you through this rough time, and oh look! I was there all along. CLEARLY not such a bad person. I would tell you this, but I don't want to lose you as a bro, so instead, I'll rant. Will you see this eventually? Possibly. If you do, let's not discuss it.

I need some wine. Come on Fall Break! Let's do this!

Odd Findings

Whilst craving pizza for the umpteenth time in my life, I found myself settling for cereal instead. Cereal does not involve a microwave, it does not involve trekking out into the freezing cold garage and grabbing the little pizza box. Cereal instantly fills a craving, not entirely, but helps to a certain extent. In reaching for the cereal box, located on top of the fridge, my hand grazed a different, smaller box. It read:

Moist and Meaty


I'm not sure whether I should be put off by this or extremely excited. I personally love meat (go steak!) and dry meat is generally frowned upon (unless it's jerky, but I won't eat that regardless. Long story.) Therefore, I would like my meat to be "moist and meaty," but was it necessary to advertise it as such? At the same time, if it's sitting on TOP of my fridge, it's probably not actually meat, but rather some imitation meat (which should be refrigerated regardless.) So what is this mystery food item which boasts its high levels of water containment and general meat-like qualities? And what is it doing on my fridge?

I have no idea. And I'm not about to go check.

On a positive note in life! I made it my goal to go on at least one date in October. I'm tired of sitting around (totally goes against a lot of stuff I've written thus far, yet makes other things I've written previously even stronger: double-edged sword.) I'm meeting with a fine young fellow who comes from a well-to-do British royal bloodline, owns 4 cars, has 32 horses, commonly enjoys hunting, croquet, chess, and other fancy British things, and we shall discuss the world's current economic state over a splendidly rich cup of tea. Pinkies up! Never would I ever meet with a man whose name I've previously mentioned as being boring (true story) for a cheap cup of coffee. How dare you suggest I stoop that low! But I am thrilled. Hopefully it goes well! If not, I've always got my cat (which Facebook reminds me of all too much: "Cat-Share: Interactive hub where cat-lovers connect + share.")

How to Acquire a Phone Number

Was this used in a real-life situation? You betcha.

Oye and what's your number? I'm trying to get a large database of numbers in my phone to study the statistics of letters of the alphabet and how they relate to age, location, etc [insert long rambling about scientific reasoning for needing your number that is completely falsified and really I'd just like your number to possibly meet up for lunch or coffee or the occasional 'hello!' I suppose I should stop rambling and you can just send me your number if you feel it is a worthy cause]

Did it work? 

Oh yes.

Bad Day, Round 2.

It can only go uphill from here.

So much for french homework

• i need to just rant
• not even rant
• ramble
• there's so much going on in my head
• yet nothing at all
  • i don't understand how a head can be so occupied but so...thoughtless all at once
  • i was just playing with makeup because i really don't want to work on my homework
  • every time i try to put it on, i look like a zombie
  • how the hell do people do eye shadow?
  • obviously that means i'm going with colors that are too dark for me
  • but if i go with lighter colors, i look like a cancer patient
  • so then i settle for no color
  • but then my eyes look translucent
  • eyelids, i should say
    • and then i was brushing my hair
    • and i kept finding gray hairs
    • so not only can i not do makeup, but i'm also getting old
    • i just dyed my hair not that long ago
    • the gray shouldn't be showing through yet
    • and my hair looks like shit when it's brushed
    • so i either have my hair pulled back or i don't brush my hair at all
    • and when i don't brush my hair at all, there's absolutely zero predictability to it
    • some days it looks great
    • other days it looks like i got shit on
    • my eyebrows are all sorts of crazy right now
    • i don't know if it's how i'm sleeping or what
    • but the hairs are curling like crazy and sticking out and it's driving me insane
    • because i want to pull them out to teach them a lesson
    • but then i get bald spots
    • so i settle with crazy eyebrows
    • which will hopefully calm down eventually
    • but i was trying to figure out how to make myself look older
    • because i always look far too young
    • is there something i can do makeup wise to make myself look more mature?
    • i'm trying to snag this guy who i've never even talked to (sister's teacher)
    • what sort of girl does he go for?
    • does he have a girl?
    • would i even like him if i ever got the chance to talk to him?
    • today was his birthday and he turned 27
    • so he's 6 years older than i am
    • which really isn't that bad
    • my parents are 6.5 years apart
    • and they're just fine
    • but then i started thinking about the whole "do i even like guys at all or has society just pounded this idea into my head?"
    • so i started thinking about when i first liked guys, was it something that was natural or was it told to me over and over?
    • is hetero or homo sexuality a choice, or is it genetics?
    • i think, the more i contemplate it, it's a choice
    • because yes, something within you may be telling you that you like your own sex more than the opposite sex
    • but isn't that a choice to listen to it or not?
    • you may think that you like the opposite sex, therefore making that choice, but really you're wired to like your own sex
    • the whole debate makes absolutely no sense to me the more i contemplate it
    • because what is attractive about men?
    • i, for one, don't strip men with my eyes when i'm looking at them
    • i don't think of them as sex objects
    • i don't think of sleeping with them in the most literal translation of that phrase as is possible
    • i think of people as people
    • i'm attracted to personalities, not bodies
    • the bodies help
    • but the personalities are what really gets you
    • so would it be possible for me to like a lady?
    • maybe
    • i don't know
    • it hasn't happened yet
    • i'm losing interest in men (other than simba)
    • but that doesn't mean that i AM interested in women
    • it just means that i'm starting to view everyone as a friend
    • and that's where i get really confused
    • because what guy in their right mind would want to date a girl who doesn't want to have sex
    • who doesn't want to cuddle
    • who doesn't want to hold hands
    • who wants to be in love, but not necessarily declare it
    • no guy.
    • even simba wants a relationship
    • not just a best friend
      • every guy wants some sort of physical component
      • which is when i start to think whether i would be interested in dating women instead
      • but at the same time, no, because vaginas are not any more enticing to me than penises
      • that sounds gross
      • but really
      • not at all
      • i just don't know what i want out of life
      • but i know exactly what i want
      • all at the same time
      • i need someone super religious
      • who isn't going to want to be physical
      • but at the same time
      • i don't want to have to deal with their religious mindset
      • in which case i need someone who is an atheist
      • but they're always going to be interested in sex
      • i'm not heterosexual
      • i'm not homosexual
      • i'm asexual.
      • so much for french homework.
      • (end rant.)

Rant on Facebook

I am, put simply, the best Facebook stalker you will ever come across. If you are reading this now, chances are good that I already know your name, where you live, your mother's maiden name, your favorite color, your 2nd favorite childhood pet's name, your father's neighbor's blood type, etc. I am that good.

So when Facebook is misbehaving and making my stalking practically impossible, I rage. I can't find out who the person who sits next to me in French is (actually that's a lie; I know exactly who he is and I've already gone through all of his photos.) I can't find out who Gabriel/Cameron really is and still wish that I had talked to him more. BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, I can't find my foods friend. All I know is his first name, and at that, I don't know the proper spelling of it. What does this mean for me? I actually have to interact with people in person? Heaven forbid.

But that's what society has become. Or at least, that's what I've become. Facebook has become my shield, a wall to hide behind. I can be tough and ballsy on Facebook and not worry about what happens. But in person, I'm not going to just walk up to someone and start having a deep conversation with them about why their grandmother can't remember their name and what really happened to their sister's sanity... Society demands that we be fearless online, but not in person. Face to face interactions are becoming few and far between. Is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? Who knows.

What I do know, however, is that on the internet, no one knows you're a cat.