Yo, thanks for coming

But really, I just wanted to use you as a human bike lock.

What is a human bike lock, you ask? Allow me to paint you a picture.

We ride bikes together. I go inside, because I didn't really want you coming with me, I just wanted you to keep an eye on my bike. But, seeing as how you also had to ride a bike to watch my own, you have to watch both bikes. Easy as pie. I'll be joining you in an hour. Maybe longer.

Hope you brought a book.

Or an iPod. At the very least, you've got your cell phone.

Or did you forget to charge it last night? Looks like you'll be writing novels in the snow.

Don't you dare step inside the lobby. You knew what you were getting into when you offered to ride with me. It's not my fault you didn't grab handwarmers and extra gloves when we left the house.

It's 60 degrees today? Splendid! You won't freeze to death!

Wait, 5 degrees on Friday? Maybe you should have grabbed the handwarmers. We live in Indiana, silly. It's not like you can actually predict the weather. They may say Friday, but really, they mean now.

NOW.

Like when I'm getting my hair cut. Right now. I want it cut right now. I'll just hack it all off. No regrets. No worries. No responsibilities. Less shampoo. Less hassle.

No ponytails or messy buns. This could be a problem. Maybe just a trim.

Is this a stream of consciousness, you ask?

Yes. Yes, it is.

I'm a dead man walking.

Fish Fell Out of My Ear

I leave Indiana until June on Thursday. Today is Monday. Madness. That means that, at the very most, from this exact moment, I have 70 hours left in Indiana. I can’t even…what?! 70 hours. That’s 140 episodes of New Girl including the commercials. That’s 233 and a third pizzas baked back to back in one oven for 20 minutes (and let’s face it, they’re never REALLY done in 20 minutes.) That means that, at the most, I can listen to “Born to Die” (Lana Del Rey: check her out if you haven’t already. SNL was not a strong show for her, but holy canoli does she shine in recordings) 882 times. But then I also have drive-time without Lana in my car, sleeping time, family time, time when I’m listening to “Video Games” instead, or time when the interwebz aren’t working so I can’t bask in the glory of Lana’s Stevie Nicks esque voice (sans the dying goat aspect.) Which therefore dwindles down my numbers to about…67. Roughly. I’ll keep a tally and report back before leaving.

Things I’m looking forward to leaving behind in Indiana this go-around:

-          My crappy internet connection

-          My neighbors constantly burning trash (headache, anyone?)

-          Snow

-          Ice

-          Salt on the roads from the aforementioned weather phenomena

-          Cluttered room (working on decluttering said room between thought processes)

-          A cold room when it’s cold outside (50 degrees inside. Any takers?)

Things I’m not looking forward to leaving behind in Indiana this go-around:

-          My family

-          George (furry brown brother)

-          Ruby (Russian cat determined to conquer the world, one hairball at a time)

-          Fat squirrels (the Florida squirrels look so underfed, poor babies)

-          Friends WHO I FULLY EXPECT TO SKYPE WITH ME REGULARLY.

I suppose I should finish up the packing and just get this stuff done. Former roommate and lifetime friend is flying into Indianapolis tomorrow (no capes) and I promised myself I’d have all of my packing done by the time I leave to pick her up. BLUE, 32, HIKE HIKE HIKE!