Refrigerator Escapades

Last night, I was perusing through the refrigerator to find toppings for ice cream (#generalizedstatementaboutpeopleeatingicecream) and found instead FIVE JARS OF PICKLE PRODUCTS. 4 jars of pickle spears/whole pickles, and 1 jar of relish.

I hate pickles.

Thankfully, this is not *my* refrigerator, therefore the contents of said kitchen appliance do not solely exist out of my choosing (there'd be far more hummus.) But, really, five jars of pickles? Do we really need that many pickles? I understand, there's dill pickles, sweet pickles, buttered pickles, pickled vegetables that are not cucumbers, spicy pickles, dill relish, sweet relish, kosher pickles, etc etc etc. But what does this all mean?! I am not a pickle connoisseur. I would not be able to tell you whether a pickle was dill or sweet. But five jars of pickles?

I also found a chocolate frog from Honeydukes. We visited the Wizarding World of Harry Potter back in April. That's not much less than a year ago now. That poor little frog, which was not made from the best quality chocolate, is just sitting in the back of the refrigerator, waiting to be freed, if not eaten. I can hear him crying from my room "I thought I was going to escape on the Hogwarts Express! I thought you would be like Harry and be too enthralled by the card to notice me sneaking away!" Wrong. Oh how wrong you were, Mr. Frog yielding a Gryffindor card. Luckily, the Helga Hufflepuff frog was put out of his pentagonal box misery not long after purchasing.

This therefore leads me to the conclusion that perhaps, in order to be noticed more, the chocolate frog should be pickled. A little vinegar never hurt anyone! Except I'm sure that the chemical compounds existing in vinegar would most certainly break up that little frog quite soon into immersion. Or would it? Acid...base...good thing I'm not majoring in anything science related! #loveliberalarts

The Nights When Nothing Sounds Right

Tonight

Is not one of those nights.

Anything and everything sounds right tonight.

Why?

Because it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!

It's not really Friday, but it's my Friday. Making tomorrow my Saturday AND my Sunday. Darn those 6 day work weeks. Until the check comes. Then it's more or less "BRING ON THOSE LONG WEEKS! LET'S SEE IT HAPPEN! GIVE ME ALL THE SHIFTS!!" Or something like that.

Tonight is a good night for cat cuddling.

Tonight is a good night for listening to music (but let's face it: every night is a good night for listening to music.)

Tonight is a good night for discovering fun stuff to do when bored.

Tonight is a good night for banana fishing.

Tonight is a good night for going to bed hungry.

Tonight is a good night for going to bed full.

Tonight is a good night for purchasing cats online.

Tonight is a good night to plan out the week ahead. In the normal person sense, not in the "Here's what kind of weather you can expect for the next week."

Tonight is a good night to become Jim Cantore.

Tonight is a good night to plan out fantasy vacations.

Tonight is a good night to kill ALL THE BUGS!

Tonight is a good night for pancakes.

Tonight is a good night for morning to come early.

Can you imagine if that were to happen? Would time be completely altered for the rest of our days? Or would some higher authority be able to change the speed at which the Earth rotates and put the time back to how it should be, etc.etc.etc. You know, with everything we can do and accomplish at this day and age, I wonder if we as humans have the capability to change the rate at which the planets rotate. Or is this just something that happens without us having any influence whatsoever? What would happen if one second were added to each day as more and more people are born because the Earth can't rotate fast enough? One second isn't much, but eventually it could add up to humans being 1 day older than society actually tells them they are (assuming they live to be 100, which obviously not everyone achieves, but whatevs.) The concept of time, beyond just being overwhelmed with death, birth, life, etc. is mindblowing. Who decided the units?! Time is on my side, and really likes to poke me super hard.

3709 and all of it's regular visitors, I miss you. Hardcore. <3

The Joys of Sleeping Without Pants

And other simple pleasures that hurt only those who walk in on you when you have a wedgie in your sleep.

Not sure that there's anything else that falls under that category, but you get the point. Basically, anyone who has a major issue with what you're doing that you find enticing. Perhaps they've walked in on you while you're picking your nose. Some people like this. Maybe they've encountered you while you're in the middle of releasing large amounts of gas orally. Is this a relaxation technique? I personally cannot burp as a normal person would (at least, I'm not aware of my ability to do so) but I would imagine that it is highly relaxing and brings about a sense of peace with the world. Or maybe I'm wrong and it's just something to do so you can eat more, spend more money, etc.

But really, let's get to the real point at hand: sleeping without pants on. It's really only an issue if you have a roommate who directly shares your room (of which I have none anymore) or if you live with people who do not like to knock on the door. Again, I have none. Thus, pants free sleep. Has there ever been an activity so....liberating? I didn't think so either. Especially when it's a warm summer night in the middle of the spring. (Are we still in the middle of the spring? I think by this point we can probably classify it as the latter half of spring, by far.)

Tomorrow's activities: buy Zach's birthday present, try a new hairstyle, work. And sleep. But who doesn't love sleep? Especially liberating sleep.

Me gusta.

TODOS LAS GUSTAS!

Fish Fell Out of My Ear

I leave Indiana until June on Thursday. Today is Monday. Madness. That means that, at the very most, from this exact moment, I have 70 hours left in Indiana. I can’t even…what?! 70 hours. That’s 140 episodes of New Girl including the commercials. That’s 233 and a third pizzas baked back to back in one oven for 20 minutes (and let’s face it, they’re never REALLY done in 20 minutes.) That means that, at the most, I can listen to “Born to Die” (Lana Del Rey: check her out if you haven’t already. SNL was not a strong show for her, but holy canoli does she shine in recordings) 882 times. But then I also have drive-time without Lana in my car, sleeping time, family time, time when I’m listening to “Video Games” instead, or time when the interwebz aren’t working so I can’t bask in the glory of Lana’s Stevie Nicks esque voice (sans the dying goat aspect.) Which therefore dwindles down my numbers to about…67. Roughly. I’ll keep a tally and report back before leaving.

Things I’m looking forward to leaving behind in Indiana this go-around:

-          My crappy internet connection

-          My neighbors constantly burning trash (headache, anyone?)

-          Snow

-          Ice

-          Salt on the roads from the aforementioned weather phenomena

-          Cluttered room (working on decluttering said room between thought processes)

-          A cold room when it’s cold outside (50 degrees inside. Any takers?)

Things I’m not looking forward to leaving behind in Indiana this go-around:

-          My family

-          George (furry brown brother)

-          Ruby (Russian cat determined to conquer the world, one hairball at a time)

-          Fat squirrels (the Florida squirrels look so underfed, poor babies)

-          Friends WHO I FULLY EXPECT TO SKYPE WITH ME REGULARLY.

I suppose I should finish up the packing and just get this stuff done. Former roommate and lifetime friend is flying into Indianapolis tomorrow (no capes) and I promised myself I’d have all of my packing done by the time I leave to pick her up. BLUE, 32, HIKE HIKE HIKE!