Or was I? I suppose in some strange, bizarre way, you could say that everyone is born in a factory. Women are like their own factories (sorry, guys) and all they really need is the oil to make the machines work smoothly and properly. Awkward? Oh ho ho yes.
A thought occurred to me today as I was saying goodnight to my lovely roommate: WHY does Viva not make toilet paper?! Viva paper towels are some of the best things ever. Soft, like a cloth. Sturdy, like a cloth. But fresh with every use, like a paper towel. It's the best of both worlds! Viva should make toilet paper precisely in this manner: no more toilet paper lint, so compromise between super soft=falls apart really fast vs. super sturdy=ouch ouch ouch! Viva would be soft, but sturdy. However, I have to wonder if the reason this does not already occur is because it's not septic-safe. I'm assuming this is the issue at hand, or else everyone would be using Viva toilet paper to clean their rump. Er, rumpus room.
Face washing tonight took approximately 30 minutes, which leads me to believe one of two things. A.) I fell asleep while in the bathroom and just didn't realize it, or B.) My face is super super clean. I'd like to say the latter is the truth, but knowing myself as I do, it's probably the former. Pity. I'd really enjoy a super super clean face.
I think this'll be all for the night, but I'll leave you with a thought. Viva toilet paper: the way of the future. The way of the future. The way of. The way. They way of. The way of the future. The way of the future. Viva toilet paper: the way of the future.
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